Sunday, July 28, 2013

Fix the Video: f(x)'s 'Rum Pum Pum Pum'




f(x)'s "Rum Pum Pum Pum" is a fantastic song, but the video looks... well, pretty much like every other f(x) video. While the vertically rotating shots toward the end are cool and different, the MV is basically exactly what you expect an f(x) video to look like- f(x) wearing crazy clothes and dancing on sets. Yawn. But I think it can be fixed.


How would I fix the video? I propose a drama MV- and if you're squeamish about going to the dentist, you might want to stop reading now. Also, since my version of this video needs a male actor and since SM Entertainment likes to keep their casting in the family, I'm arbitrarily casting SHINee's Key as the guy in this video. Why? Because this is my video and I cast who I want, that's why. Also because he's good at making dramatic faces.





My Version


Our video starts with poor Key making his way into the dentist's office to get his wisdom teeth pulled. He looks glum, the outside of the building looks dull and grey, the inside of the building is dreary- basically the entire walk up to the office door is dark and depressing in the most boring way. This is clearly going to be a dull, boring, uncomfortable visit. But wait! Key opens the office door to find himself in a bright office with funky, brightly-colored decorations. Maybe this appointment won't be so bad after all? That's what Key assumes until the verse starts and Krystal the receptionist pops up from behind the counter with a knowing smirk on her face. Key looks terrified- and with good reason. A short flashback sequence shows us that Key once stood Krystal up for a date, and Krystal looks like she's got revenge on the brain.



As we get to the beginning of Sulli's "attention boys!" rap, Krystal sneaks into the back of the office to announce Key's arrival. The sharply-dressed staff in their snazzy medical masks and gloves all turn to look to the beat of Amber's "Pa rum pum pum pum", wide-eyed in surprise and ready for action. Krystal turns to Sulli to whisper something in her ear, and the office gossip spreads as the round builds into the chorus.

At the beginning of the chorus, Sulli walks out to the lobby, calling Key back to the office with a smile. Poor Key looks even more terrified as he recalls dumping Sulli on her birthday, leaving her standing there looking sad with a plate of birthday cake in her hands while the party went on around her. Sulli's not sad today, though- she walks him back to the chair with a wicked smile on her face, making way for dental hygienist Luna to enter as the verse begins. 

Luna smiles and talks animatedly while laying out the tools for Key's wisdom tooth extraction. Key now looks completely fear-stricken as he has a flashback to a date with Luna. He remembers giving her a big bouquet of flowers and then walking arm in arm with her down a moonlit street. Everything looks happy and wonderful until Amber's rap starts- suddenly, a very angry Amber storms into the scene, leading us to realize that Key is actually secretly two-timing Amber and Luna! The girls both start yelling at Key and shoving him around and the flashback ends with Luna throwing her flowers at him and both girls stomping off in opposite directions, leaving Key all by himself in a flurry of flower petals.

You crossed the wrong girl group, Key.

Back in the office, Key nearly jumps out of his seat when dentist Victoria shows up, a look of wide-eyed excitement on her face. We flashback to see her reclining on her couch, smiling as she texts "I love you!!!" to Key. She sighs happily as she waits for his reply. When it comes, however, it simply says... 

"we should break up :(

If looks could kill, Victoria's phone would combust on the spot. 

Krystal and Sulli appear in the entrance to the office, watching in amusement as Luna and Amber hold Key down and Victoria doses him with laughing gas. From his perspective, we see blurry, slow-motion shots of the girls of f(x) coming at him with various dental tools, dream-sequence dance shots, and more flashback scenes of Key wronging the girls of f(x).

After Key's surgery, we see him lumber towards the door, looking worn out, while the girls of f(x) walk behind him looking vindicated. When he reaches the office door, he turns for one last look- Krystal winks and motions that he should smile. He gives a weak, closed-lipped smile before turning and walking out the door. As it shuts behind him and stands in the dull, grey hallway, we see a close up of Key's face, which pans down his arm and to his hand- he's carrying a jar full of all of his own teeth. The shot freezes, the credits fade in.

Poor, sad, toothless Key.

The End.

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